Tweens Need to Play Too!!!

First off, let me explain why I want to share our community of amazing educators with you, and why I am a stand for our series “PLAY-ducation”.   

We are suffering a Play Deficit.  It isn’t hypothetical, it isn’t some social media farce gone wrong.  It is true.  Canada received a failing grade in the area of play.  A big F!  What would you do if your bean came home with an F on their report card, you would certainly pay attention.  So we are!  Play will not die off overnight, it will be a slow process and in generations to come, there will be no such thing of Free, Unstructured Play.  And generations will suffer. We will lose the vital skills that we need to grow into healthy, well-adjusted communicative adults.  

Insert our Play Series.  Different topics, amazing speakers, a night out to grow, learn and feel supported in your family values.  

This week we had the AMAZING Andrea Chatwin, our resident Play Maven and Certified Childhood Development Specialist come and talk about Tweens.  I was particularly excited about this topic because I have a tween. I see how my five year old plays unleashed and perfectly without any restrictions, but I notice as my first born, a once unleashed little girl now turned tween, is still young at heart but craving to be mature and grown up.  

So we created a presentation “Tweens Need to Play Too” and as always Andrea Chatwin NEVER DISAPPOINTS. 

Although hard to articulate the impact of what I learned, I will share a few key points:

Tweens need to play in order to develop into confident and competent young people. Their need for self directed, unstructured free play remains consistent even as they enter middle to late childhood, and moreover Neuroscience is telling us that children need to play for optimal brain development to occur!

What symptoms of over-scheduling may look like…

Psychological - Irritability.  Difficulty focusing. Difficulty concentrating. Behavioural difficulties.

Physical - Poor eating habits. Sleep difficulties. Headaches. Stomach aches.

Understanding the Pull to Electronics:

Artificial Mastery – electronics easily and quickly give the child/tween the feeling of “I did something well”. Making actual, real life mastery some what boring.

Immediate Gratification – the user feels relief and/or feels better faster than it takes when one goes out to play. 

Dissociative State – “I am no longer available emotionally in this situation”. children/tweens can shut out the outside world, they don’t have to feel anything or be connected with their inner worlds. They can be emotionally blank, yet still get immediate gratification.

Coming down from the technology high:

Mood differences post electronic play; Limited patience or impulse control; Difficulty focusing or attending to tasks; Impact on parent child relationship

Responding to your child/tweens behavior:

Step 1 – Empathy, Empathy, Empathy. Express to your child/tween that you fully understand what their experience is right now and why their request is so important (ie. I want to watch more tv). Get alignment.

Step 2 – Set your limit clearly and firmly (ie. tv is not for today).

Step 3 – Give your child/tween choices to return some control back to them. Refocus the issue on to something they do have control over (Ie. no tv before school, but when you come home you can decide if you want to watch 1 hour after school or after dinner).

How to Play with Your Tweens:

• Offer joint attention. Focus and value something just as much as they do. Join their experience. Find what lights their eyes, what causes them to be interested.  If only for 30 minutes a week be with them in whatever capacity they desire.  
• Playing with a younger child helps your tween to engage in healthy play activities without the concern that it is too babyish.
• Keep toys accessible. Even when kids/tweens claim that they are finished with “toys”, if they are accessible they will likely gravitate towards them in quiet times.
• Encourage natural play. Kids need to be outside, whether this is at a local park or in your backyards
• Play together as a family. Indoor games, outdoor activities, sports, crafting.

Join us Wednesday, October 29th for the next talk in our PLAY-ducation Series, "Raising Children in a Digital World" with Dr. Deborah MacNamara. Admission is by donation. All proceeds will be donated to Playground Builders. Please SAVE YOUR SEAT and RSVP to play@peekaboobeans.com.

In love and play, 

What I did right (maybe)

What I Did Right (Maybe)

"Raising children is an uncertain thing. Success is reached only after a lifetime of battle and worry." - Democratus

"Like all parents, we just do the best we can and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kid's therapy."  - Michelle Pfeiffer

"I just flew by the seat of my pants and hoped for the best." - Grandma Bean

I recently had the great pleasure of attending my daughter's work conference, Playtopia2014. This brings me to the portion of the year when people tell me what a wonderful daughter I have and how she must have been raised right, and which makes me feel wonderful and like a fraud all at the same time.

I have said before that I was an immature Mom and that I grew up alongside my children. I discussed this recently with a good friend and as I went over a laundry list of my perceived mistakes and shortcomings, she said, "Carole, look at your children. They weren't raised by wolves! You must have done something right." It's true; they are hard working, funny, loving, responsible and compassionate people, who are terrific partners to their spouses and the absolute best parents to their own kids. I decided instead of looking at what I think I did wrong, and how I could have done it a different way (and no doubt just made different mistakes) I would look at ways in which I might have made a positive difference in their lives. It is easy to sit down and make a list of what I might have done wrong.....much harder to reflect on what I maybe did right. But here goes:

It Takes a Village
It was wonderful listening to Debra McNamara speak at Playtopia. I so related to all that she had to say, especially about "bridging" where you turn your children over to other members of the family or care-givers who can fill in the area's where you might not be strong.

I wasn't a "playing mom" and felt inadequate in many areas. I am told by my Mom that I was an "Old Soul" from a very early age and although I grew up with a terrific work ethic, I don't think I learned how to be playful. So as a Mom I swallowed my ego, and I exposed my children to people who were positive role models, and who could give them what I couldn't. This was difficult.....sometimes I had to swallow my pride on a daily basis to give them what they needed. I sent my children all summer, every summer, to stay with my parents at their Lake home. My son and his grandfather had a particularly close relationship. They spent many hours together, sitting in a boat on a lake, fishing and passing the time. (I found out later that my father also taught my son some very specific cuss words, but never mind.) My parents helped me give them what they needed and from this time my children also learned how to get along with a different generation and how to relate to older people. Today at family gatherings there doesn't seem to be the same generational interaction. All the children are on devices and seldom connect with the seniors in the family. One of the things I am most proud of is how kind my children are to the elderly.

Accountability
There are two stories I tell about this. The first is when my son was about 13, and he borrowed my Mom's bike one evening to ride around the lake to see his friend. Instead of riding the bike home, he and his friends rowed a boat across the lake, leaving the bike behind. I was very upset about this and sent him on foot, in the dark, back to his friend's house to retrieve his Nana's bike. Every ounce of my being wanted to drive him to pick it up because he was afraid of the dark....but I didn't. He needed a lesson in being responsible. (Did I feel guilty? Hell yes! I still feel guilty! But he can't remember the incident, so it was either not a big deal or it is buried deeply in his psyche and one day he will snap and beat on me with a bicycle.) The second story involves my daughter. (I'm not going to say which daughter, but um, here's a hint.....I only have one. Sorry Baby!) When she was about 16, she once came home shall we say, a little intoxicated. (In much the same way as a fluffy kitty is a "little cute".) I put her in the bath, put her to bed, woke her up every hour through the night to make sure she was okay, then at 6am I woke her up and made her go to work at her weekend job at KFC. Oh yes, I did. She spent a day frying chicken in hot grease and came home very sick. I thought about this many years later when I was working in an ER and a young girl was brought in unconscious from an overdose of alcohol. She had a party at her house while her parents were away and it got out of control. The home was trashed, with hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage. When the girl regained consciousness her family didn't want to take her back to her home because "she will be upset when she sees the mess." I can tell you, if that had been my child, not only would she have been taken home to be upset by the mess, but she would have been handed a broom on the way in, and would not have left again until the mess was cleaned up. Consequences.....they will learn it eventually, better they learn at your knee. I did that.

Flexibility
I was a working mother. Not only that, but I worked shifts and stat holidays. We had to fit in family celebrations around my shifts. As well, they had a mother that worked in a field where she often had sad stories to tell. They learned compassion and how to think of others. I taught them that if they were going to compare themselves to people who had everything, then they also had to compare themselves to people who had nothing.

Resilience
Because I was immature, not all of the decisions I made were based on, shall we say, good common sense. My children were there during one of the worst times of my life. For a period of time, they were the only reason I got up in the morning. They held me together while I set out on a different path in life and they were the reason I stayed on the path. They saw me and they stood by me, on my darkest days. They witnessed first hand that a person can fall apart completely, but move through the pain and come out the other side, stronger for the bending. In my mind, resilience is the single most important quality to instill in a child. I provided the catalyst for that.

So there you have it. I did the best with what I knew and to quote Maya Angelou, when I knew better, I did better. So for now, I will join in on the praise of my great kids.......because no Mom could be prouder.

On resiliency

On Resiliency

"The human capacity for burden is like bamboo~far more flexible than you'd ever believe at first glance."  - Jodi Picoult

'If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces."  - Shane Koyczon

"Childhood is a training ground for resiliency.  But you need to get out of the way."  - Grandma Bean

The other day my Grand-daughter, Cici, was telling me about a terrible disappointment that she had experienced which broke her heart (and mine, for her.)  She had a solo narrative part in her Choir recital that she had been rehearsing for months.  The night of the recital something went wrong and they skipped over her part.  She told me the next day that her eyes were sore from crying.  It got me to thinking about resiliency and how important it is in our lives, and how vital it is to learn when we are children. 

The dictionary defines resiliency as:

1.         The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

2.         The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.

I've always been fascinated by this subject and why some of us bounce back while others break from the bending.  When my children were young I remember a time when something went terribly wrong for Traci and I had trouble dealing with the pain she was experiencing.  It was excruciating to watch my daughter suffer and I would have done anything to take away her pain.  Then someone in my life, who was very wise, gave me some advice which I have never forgotten.  She told me that my children's pain was THEIR pain, not mine and that no matter how much it hurt me to see them suffer, I had to get out of the way.   "Indeed," she told me, "You have no RIGHT to try to take it away.  It is not your business.  This is how they will become resilient and to be able to move on through pain when you are no longer around.  Guide, but do not take away!" 

Forever after, I allowed my children to experience their own disappointments.  When my daughter was a teen-ager, I would get her to make lists after a disappointment or a hurt.  She wrote down her feelings about the experience and what was the best and the worst things that could result from it.  Invariably something would happen later to make her glad she had had that particular disappointment. It helped her to identify her emotions and later she could see how it all worked out for the best.

These were very necessary lessons for my child and the training ground for adult problems.   After marrying and trying for many years to conceive, Traci became pregnant. She and Brad had about a week to experience their happiness when it became apparent that she had suffered a tubal pregnancy and they lost the child they had wanted so badly.  My heart broke for her, but I knew that she would ultimately be okay, because she had learned the resilient lesson when she was young.  The loss of that baby put into motion the events that later resulted in the birth of her two beautiful girls, Cailin and Colbie, who none of us can even imagine our lives without.

I think of my Father's generation - A child of the Depression, and then a World War, my father had a brutal childhood, full of deprivation and even neglect.  He told me a story of how when he was about eight, he was pulling a wagon full of winter supplies home to the homestead.  During the trip, the kerosene that they needed for lighting spilled onto the flour they would use for their bread....maybe the only food they would have for the long winter. There was no money to buy more, so they had to live on Kerosene-flavored bread for the whole winter.  The resilience that he developed through these years made it possible for him to move on and raise a family of his own.  When he spoke about these experiences later, he often related them with humor.  (In fact, I think it was his sense of humor that allowed him to survive his childhood.)

I am certainly not suggesting that our children should suffer deprivation to learn resiliency, but I fear that we are so busy absorbing our children's pain that we are raising a generation of children that do not know how to cope without us.

So in this vein, I have put together a little quiz to determine how resilient you are.

1.  Your plans for the evening fall through.  You:

a.         Pour a glass of wine and sit down with a good book.

b.         Pour a bottle of wine into a vase.  Drink the wine and then sob quietly into a book.

2.  Your babysitter develops Norovirus on a day you had planned to shop.  You:

a.         Pack up the kids and go for a picnic in the park.

b.         Drop the children off on your babysitter's doorstep with a roll of toilet paper and a bucket, and then head for H&M.

3.  You are laid off from a job you just started a week ago.  You:

a.         Cry a little, eat a carton of Baskin Robbins Pistachio Almond Ice Cream, go home and revamp your resume.  Then you feed your children and put them to bed.

b.         Ugly cry, stop at the liquor store and pick up a Box O' Wine, go home and throw a tin of soup and a can-opener at your children, go to your room, drink your Box O' Wine and then drunk text all your friends until morning.

4.  Your child doesn't get accepted on to the Cheerleading Squad after she has told you that her life will be ruined if she is rejected.  You:

a.         Feed her a tub of Baskin Robbins Pistachio Almond Ice Cream, dry her tears, and keeping your cool, matter of factly assure her that better things await.

b.         Immediately put a contract out on the Bee-atch that is in charge of the squad because she obviously does not recognize real talent when she sees it.

Now if you answered mostly A's, then you are probably pretty resilient.  If however, you answered mostly B's, well don't worry  At one time in my life I answered mostly B's, and well, my children turned out to be pretty resilient in spite of it. (Um....or maybe BECAUSE of it)  Oh well, never mind. 

- Grandma Bean

Playful Beans... talking about their Mommies

Ever wonder what the little Beans are really thinking about their MOMMIES? In their world, what is a Mommy for? Ever wonder? We certainly did, so... we asked our Beans. So we would like to share with you, straight from the mouths of the beautiful Beans of our Play Stylists and Playground staff, what Mommies mean to  them:

What do you love most about your Mommy? 

I love when I ask her to buy me something she will get if for me on a special occasion. She takes care of me and I love that she is with me and she loves me. - Kerlinda, age 7

Xbox. - Malique, age 7

Her hugs! - Logan, age 4 1/2

I like everything.  - Kieren, age 4

She always gives me a hug and kiss before bed.- Olivia, age 8

I love playing with my mom. - Cameron, age 6

I just love you Mama. - Raine, age 5

She's nice. - Malique, age 7

Hugging. - Jaedyn, age 4

She makes good cookies for me. - Julia, age 7

Hugging. - J'Nyiah, age 4

She buys me toys. - Ainsleigh, age 8

My mom is kind. - Jax, age 8

She buys me ice cream & slurpees. - Jasper, age 5

Love her kisses. - Peyton, age 4

That she does nice things for us. - Lily, age 7

She lets me snuggle with her. - Ethan, age 5

Hugs! - Ashley, age 4

She lets us do fun things & reads us books & gives nice stuff to u.s - Rachel, age 5

What is one thing your Mommy always says to you?

Put your plate on the counter. - Ashley, age 4

Brush your teeth & get ready for bed & it's time to wake up. - Rachel, age 5

Stop talking about American Girl Dolls!! & do your homework. - Lily, age 7

Be nice. - Ethan, age 5

No & maybe & after that she says I will think about it or u can get it from grandma. - Kerlinda, age 7

Yes! - Logan, age 4 1/2

I love you everyday. - Kieran, 4

No more TV today! - Olivia, age 8

I'm taking away your IPod. - Cameron, age 6

Listen, No whining and crying and no screaming. - Raine, age 5

"Please stop that" and "dont touch it". - Malique, age 7

Cook, go play .- Jaedyn, age 4

Cooking. - J'Nyiah, age 4

I love you. - Julia, age 7

I love you & I hope you have a good day. - Ainsleigh, age 8

I love you. - Jax, age 8

Watch out for cars when I go outside. - Jasper, age 5

I love you sweetie. - Peyton, age 4

What is your Mommy not very good at?

French! - Kerlinda, age 7

Throwing. - Logan, age 4 1/2

You are terrible at angry birds! - Kieran, age 4

Dancing. - Olivia, age 8

She's not very good at playing on my iPod. - Cameron, age 6

Not good at making robots. - Jaedyn, age 4

Hugging. - J'Nyiah, age 4

Patience! - Julia, age 7

That’s a hard one, She not very good at playing dolls. - Ainsleigh, age 8

Skateboarding. - Jax, age 8

Baking a cake! - Ashley, age 5

Saying French words. - Lily, age 7

Doing a front flip on trampolines. - Jasper, age 5

Working on her computer... she was crying about something. - Ethan, age 5

Cooking soup & chili. - Peyton, age 4

Drawing. - Rachel, age 5

How do you know your Mommy loves you? 

Because she always kisses me. - Ethan, age 5

She give us kisses. - Rachel, age 5

Because we are her children and she lets me have playdates and give me kisses, hugs and lets me come to her bed at night. - Lily, age 7

She gives me kisses. - Ashley, age 4

I can tell in my heart. She thinks about me every day. - Kerlinda, age 7

Her hugs and kisses!! - Logan, age 4 1/2

Because I do - you tell me every single day! - Kieran, age 4 

She gives me a hug and she lets me do what I want. - Olivia, age 8

She lets me play on my iPod. - Cameron, age 6

Momma gives me squeaks! (aka hugs) - Raine, age 5

She tells me. - Malique, age 7

Says I love you. - Jaedyn, age 4

Says I love you. - J'Nyiah, age 4

She always sleeps in my bed at night when I’m scared and lonely. - Julia, age 7

She always says it to me. - Ainsleigh, age 8

Because she cuddles me & says she loves me. - Jax, age 8

because she says she does. - Jasper, age 5

Because she just loves me. - Peyton, age 4

Happy Mothers Day to all you hard working, well deserving Moms!

Playful Beans and the meaning of LOVE

 

Ever wonder what the little Beans are thinking when the subject of LOVE comes up?  In their world, what does "LOVE" mean? Ever wonder? We certainly did, so... we asked our Beans. So we would like to share with you, straight from the mouths of the beautiful Beans of our Play Stylists and Playground staff, what LOVE means to them: 


Jax, age 7

To care about someone.

 

Peyton, age 4

To kiss someone and want them to live forever.

 

Breanna, age 9

Oh gosh. Ummm, happiness. Fun. Creative.

 

Ethan, age 5

It's when you have a girlfriend and you go to a restaurant and kiss and then have a baby and then another baby.

 

Cannen, age 3

Love is when you get a hug and a kiss.

 

Teaghan, age 7

Friendship!

 

Kerlinda, age 7

Love is caring for people.  Love is for thankfulness and loving the things you have.

 

Aiyana, age 5

Being kind, caring and a good person.

 

Carys, age 2

Love YOU!!

Mieka, age 3
Love means, I love you.

Raine, age 4
Love is happy!!! (he also says he loves his angry birds oh and his baby sister Sterling and you too Maman!)

Lily, age 7
Love is like when you like someone really much.  And kiss too.

Cohen, age 5
Love is "a really good mama snuggle".

Eva, age 3
I love YOU! 


What a bunch of super smart kids!  Be sure to give your Beans extra special hugs this Valentines Day!

 

Playful Beans and the meaning of Christmas

Ever wonder what the little Beans are thinking during the chaos on the holidays, the hustle and bustle of the shopping, the baking and storing of all the Christmas cookies, the sitting nicely on Santa's lap and everything else that comes along with this busy time of year?  In their world, what does "Christmas" mean?  Ever wonder? We certainly did, so... we asked our Beans. So we would like to share with you, straight from the mouths of the beautiful Beans of our Play Stylists and Playground staff, what Christmas means to them: 

 

Nathan, age 5

Spending time with my family cause I have 2 weeks off on Christmas! Can you believe 2 weeks off?

Carys, age 2

Christmas!!! How our presents come out of the Christmas tree?

 

Nia, age 5

Opening the presents.

Aiyana, age 5

Having a snowball fight and eating gingerbread houses.

Lily, age 7

When Santa comes and when we go to see Santa. And when we get to wake up Christmas morning and open presents with our family.

 

Ethan, age 4 

Opening up the presents. And sitting on Santa's lap.

 

Cohen, age 5

My favorite thing about Christmas is singing "I wish you a merry Christmas... Hallelujah!!!!! (Singing at the top of his voice in the highest possible octave)

 

Ava, age 9

I love that my family spends time together playing games, laughing, baking and skating. This means more to me than any presents.

Riley, age 5

Favorite thing about Christmas is getting candies from Harry, hanging Christmas lights and everything!  (Harry is the contractor who is finishing the siding on their house)  haha

Elliette, age 3

Favorite thing about Christmas is riding the horseys. (She asked for a barn full of horseys for Christmas)

 

Sarah, age 3

Making snowball fights. Making a giant carrot nose. Getting presents.

 

Rachel, age 5

Making snow angels. It's my favorite season, the bears are 'hardernated'. (Hibernated). I get to go out places and the whole spirit of christmas. 

Kerlinda, age 7

What I like about Christmas is you care about people, its about spending time with people. Its not about presents its about caring about the birth of Jesus. (Yep, seriously...that was the answer. She didn't even break her gaze from the tv....lol)

 

 

And last but not certainly least... from Nora the puppy dog (who can't really talk but we know her mommy can completely understand her just by the way she looks at her with those big brown eyes!)

 

Nora, age 2

Falling snow, not so much snow on the ground, but when there is snow falling you can find me running in circles and rolling around licking up the flakes!  And of course the Christmas turkey dinner…a puppy sized plate of yams, turkey and peas please!

 

 

Happy Holidays from our Beans to yours!

 

Moments that matter

Momspeak: In parenting, the ‘5 percent’ moments are what matter

By Tracy Grant

Checking homework. Making lunches. Shuttling to soccer practice, music lessons, doctor’s appointments. Finding money for soccer uniforms, musical instruments, out-of-pocket co-pays. Much of what we do as parents, as much as 95 percent, is a largely thankless grind. We do it without thinking because if we actually thought about it, we’d never get out of bed in the morning.

 

But this is not a column complaining about the 95 percent of what we do that goes unnoticed, what the great Anna Quindlen calls “transcendent scut work.” I’m writing about the other 5 percent, and why that is the ultimate measure of parents. It is that 5 percent that makes all the difference.

 

This thought occurred to me while watching “Finding Nemo” on a big screen, in 3-D, with my 16-year-old twin sons. Christopher, who would dissect and analyze the merits of every Pixar movie ever made, had been talking about seeing “Nemo” in 3-D for months. But then I read Post colleague Jen Chaney’s cogent analysis: “As lovely as ‘Finding Nemo 3D’ is, the current economy compels me to recommend that it’s probably best to save your money, watch it in the family room and let your children’s imaginations conjure thoughts of just how vast Nemo’s ocean must be.”

 

That made a lot of sense to me, and so I groaned internally when Christopher asked if we could go see it. A Saturday afternoon and $30 gone. But as I sat in the theater seeing Nemo’s ocean ripple and sway and come to life for the first time on a big screen, I came to the realization that this was one of those 5 percent moments. Could my kids live full, complete, successful lives without ever seeing “Finding Nemo” on anything bigger than a 27-inch screen? Absolutely.

 

But here’s the problem with that. Until you experience “Nemo” as director Andrew Stanton intended it to be viewed, you don’t know what you’re missing. There is less joy in your life, but you don’t even realize it. Your life is incrementally (say, by 5 percent) less beautiful, less realized, less fulfilling.

 

This 5 percent theory factored into our decision to adopt a new dog, just weeks after our beloved family pet passed away. We found that all the things that annoyed us about the dog when she was alive were the things we missed most acutely when she was gone. No one to beg for food at the table. No one to wake you at 5:30 a.m. No one to nuzzle into your leg or look into your face with such unconditional love.

 

We could have gotten used to a house without a dog. But that’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I didn’t want us to grow accustomed to there being 5 percent less laughter, 5 percent less love, 5 percent less joy in the house.

 

 

My son Andrew is taking an AP art history class this year. At back-to-school night his teacher conceded that this was not a course anybody needed to take to succeed in life. That’s precisely why she loves teaching it so much. It’s the class that makes the 5 percent difference. It’s hard, I know, after spending far too many waking hours doing the 95 percent to do even more. And what that 5 percent is will be different for every family, maybe for every child. Perhaps it’s a walk in the woods or a trip to see the painting of John Brown at the Portrait Gallery. Perhaps it’s ice cream for breakfast once in a while or staying in your pajamas all day long. Perhaps it’s reading aloud all seven Harry Potter books or seeing “Nemo” on the big screen.

 

You will discover what the 5 percent is for your family. It’s well worth the search. Tell us about your “5 percent” moments in the comments section.

 

Grant, the editor of KidsPost, writes about parenting issues every other week.

 

Originally Posted in The Washington Post - October 3, 2012

Quiet time

 

A few months ago while driving in the car my daughter said she was bored and wanted to watch a DVD. I suggested that instead of watching a DVD why not try to sit quietly and listen to the thoughts inside her head. I explained that it’s important for kids to learn how be with their own thoughts and reflect on what’s going on in their world and use their imagination. She agreed to try. After a long pause she had brought up some interesting thoughts about previous experiences she had while playing with her friends. It led to great conversation and in that moment I became aware of how we are always eager to fill empty time for children with electronic devices and constant background noise, taking  away opportunities to develop their own thoughts, opinions, questions and imagination.

 

Since then she often tells me what she’s thinking about, therefore creating thought provoking conversations between us which give me an opportunity to learn more about her and her dreams. It’s so enjoyable to hear her stories and talk about them together.

So, instead of TV, electronics and other noisy distracting devices, give your child their own time for quietness and the opportunity to explore their thoughts and ideas that are constantly going through their own head. 

10 questions that have parents scratching their heads

The mysteries of the universe are many:

How was Stonehenge built?  Is there extraterrestrial life?  What happened to Amelia Earhart?  Has nobody ever told Donald Trump he needs a better haircut?  And yet, the everyday head-scratchers that crop up once you become a parent can be every bit as perplexing as these biggies (and some days, even more so). Ever asked yourself any of these questions?

1. Just what exactly is the allure of Thomas the Tank? Yeah, he's a train and kids love them some trains. Still, he and his pals have zero personality and the storylines are a yawn. Thomas becomes a transvestite: Now that would be awesome.

2. Why isn't mac 'n cheese a food group?
It's mysteriously missing from the food pyramid. Alert the authorities!

3. How come kids mistake moms for human tissues?
News flash: My sleeve is part of my clothing; it is not your snot rag.

4. Is my kid someday gonna realize I'm not completely sure of what I'm doing?
Perhaps, but hopefully she'll be 37 at that point. Until then I'll just keep right on repeating, "Because I'm the mom and I said so!"

5. Is it so bad to let your child skip bathtime (again) because you're exhausted?
A diaper-wipes cleanup is even more sanitary than sitting around in icky bath water, the Surgeon General has determined. (In my dreams.)

6. Is Sophie the Giraffe secretly flavored with crack?
I've never actually licked her myself, but I'm gonna try and see if I get high.

7. Why hasn't anybody yet invented a self-cleaning playroom?
Come on, IKEA!

8. Is it OK to still desperately want the birthday cake slice with a flower?
I personally think so, unless you pummel a toddler to snag it.

9. Where do kids get their fashion sense from?
And wouldn't it be awesome if you didn't have to bother matching outfits?

10. Why can't the kids to leave you alone while you're in the shower?
OMG, I won't even condition my hair! Just let me soap up in peace!

We thought this was a really cute article and had to share!  It was originally posted July 3, 2012 and written by Ellen Seidman for Babble.com.