Raising children in a digital world

Email us at play@peekaboobeans.com to SAVE YOUR SEAT. 

And don't forget to bring a friend and your husband! 

Find out more about Dr. Deborah MacNamara and the work she does with the Neufeld Institute HERE

Tweens Need to Play Too!!!

First off, let me explain why I want to share our community of amazing educators with you, and why I am a stand for our series “PLAY-ducation”.   

We are suffering a Play Deficit.  It isn’t hypothetical, it isn’t some social media farce gone wrong.  It is true.  Canada received a failing grade in the area of play.  A big F!  What would you do if your bean came home with an F on their report card, you would certainly pay attention.  So we are!  Play will not die off overnight, it will be a slow process and in generations to come, there will be no such thing of Free, Unstructured Play.  And generations will suffer. We will lose the vital skills that we need to grow into healthy, well-adjusted communicative adults.  

Insert our Play Series.  Different topics, amazing speakers, a night out to grow, learn and feel supported in your family values.  

This week we had the AMAZING Andrea Chatwin, our resident Play Maven and Certified Childhood Development Specialist come and talk about Tweens.  I was particularly excited about this topic because I have a tween. I see how my five year old plays unleashed and perfectly without any restrictions, but I notice as my first born, a once unleashed little girl now turned tween, is still young at heart but craving to be mature and grown up.  

So we created a presentation “Tweens Need to Play Too” and as always Andrea Chatwin NEVER DISAPPOINTS. 

Although hard to articulate the impact of what I learned, I will share a few key points:

Tweens need to play in order to develop into confident and competent young people. Their need for self directed, unstructured free play remains consistent even as they enter middle to late childhood, and moreover Neuroscience is telling us that children need to play for optimal brain development to occur!

What symptoms of over-scheduling may look like…

Psychological - Irritability.  Difficulty focusing. Difficulty concentrating. Behavioural difficulties.

Physical - Poor eating habits. Sleep difficulties. Headaches. Stomach aches.

Understanding the Pull to Electronics:

Artificial Mastery – electronics easily and quickly give the child/tween the feeling of “I did something well”. Making actual, real life mastery some what boring.

Immediate Gratification – the user feels relief and/or feels better faster than it takes when one goes out to play. 

Dissociative State – “I am no longer available emotionally in this situation”. children/tweens can shut out the outside world, they don’t have to feel anything or be connected with their inner worlds. They can be emotionally blank, yet still get immediate gratification.

Coming down from the technology high:

Mood differences post electronic play; Limited patience or impulse control; Difficulty focusing or attending to tasks; Impact on parent child relationship

Responding to your child/tweens behavior:

Step 1 – Empathy, Empathy, Empathy. Express to your child/tween that you fully understand what their experience is right now and why their request is so important (ie. I want to watch more tv). Get alignment.

Step 2 – Set your limit clearly and firmly (ie. tv is not for today).

Step 3 – Give your child/tween choices to return some control back to them. Refocus the issue on to something they do have control over (Ie. no tv before school, but when you come home you can decide if you want to watch 1 hour after school or after dinner).

How to Play with Your Tweens:

• Offer joint attention. Focus and value something just as much as they do. Join their experience. Find what lights their eyes, what causes them to be interested.  If only for 30 minutes a week be with them in whatever capacity they desire.  
• Playing with a younger child helps your tween to engage in healthy play activities without the concern that it is too babyish.
• Keep toys accessible. Even when kids/tweens claim that they are finished with “toys”, if they are accessible they will likely gravitate towards them in quiet times.
• Encourage natural play. Kids need to be outside, whether this is at a local park or in your backyards
• Play together as a family. Indoor games, outdoor activities, sports, crafting.

Join us Wednesday, October 29th for the next talk in our PLAY-ducation Series, "Raising Children in a Digital World" with Dr. Deborah MacNamara. Admission is by donation. All proceeds will be donated to Playground Builders. Please SAVE YOUR SEAT and RSVP to play@peekaboobeans.com.

In love and play, 

Our quest to develop happy, healthy human Beans!

I'm sure most of our VIPBs (thats you!) have had the opportunity to view our fabulous new Fall 2014 collection in our Look Book, but we have to take a moment and point out one new addition that we are extremely excited to share with you.  

This season we have added a new element to our catalogue based on our continued quest to bring awareness on the importance of PLAY for our children.  As you flip through our pages you will find our Play Maven, Andrea's, Seal of Approval on various pages. Here's a peek...

We are constantly striving to help our children achieve the highest level of development within their individual range of possibility.  We want children to experience the world and feel good doing so. We support childhood development by promoting the importance of play for healthy development and by offering clothing that facilities play.

Play is a child's work and provides the best opportunities for learning. We encourage families and communities to recognize the necessity of play for our children. Peekaboo Beans knows the importance of understanding children's sensory preferences, creating opportunities for independence, helping them feel good about themselves and letting them express their own unique style. We keep these goals in  mind as we develop new products, ensuring all our clothes contribute to children growing up into happy, healthy HUMAN-BEANS! We are thrilled to have Andrea on our team to help support us on our playful journey. 

Here's a quick peek of our catalogue pages and what you can find throughout our Fall catalogue...

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Want to know more about Andrea?  Visit www.achildssong.ca to find out what Andrea is up to and how she is making amazing changes in peoples lives! 

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Don't forget... join in all the PLAYFUL FUN with our Summer Break Play Challenge!  Get all the details HERE

Ask Andrea, Our Play Maven.

Question:
I'm always struggling to engage all 3 of my beans (7 yo boy, 5 yo girl and 2 yo boy) in play together. Any suggestions on what I can do to incorporate all of them into a play activity? Is there something that they will all enjoy, understand and not argue about?


Answer:
Play time offers children the opportunity to explore their try on different roles, test boundaries and explore relationships. Sometimes this results in conflict during play, particularly amongst siblings. Encouraging children to find their own solutions, to explore creative responses to each other and to tolerate uncomfortable feelings are some of the ways parents support their children's play. There can be challenges with including children of different ages in group play but the potential benefits are worth the hassle.

I would suggest you start with real life dramatic play in your quest to find enjoyment for your three beans. To engage your children in this type of play you might want to set up a part of your house or your playroom with the necessary items for a real life event that the children can engage with. For example, children love to play store. Try providing them with some play money, a cash register, an apron and a variety of different items that can be 'sold' and see how they navigate the different roles involved. Other popular 'real life' options for dramatic play are hospital, school and family.

Choosing the right toys for healthy play.

Choosing Toys and their Role in Special Playtime

Children have an abundance of toys these days.  Have you ever wondered how your children ended up with so many toys that they never play with? Toy stores offer so many options that making decisions about what to purchase can be overwhelming. Often your children’s wishes or desires are developed based on clever marketing strategies rather than their true interests. But there is a guiding principal that can support parents in making decisions and it is simply this. Good toys help children to do the work of childhood, PLAY. Good toys support imaginative play, offer opportunities for practicing relationships and permit children to be themselves.

The toys of a special playtime kit are specifically chosen to facilitate a unique type of play that is nondirective and creates opportunity for children to communicate their thoughts, feelings and experiences. A toy kit for special playtime includes only toys that give children the ‘words’ they need to express a wide range of emotions. It is important that these toys are nondescript meaning that they are available to the child for whatever the child may wish to use them for. Characters from a popular television show or kits that are intended to be put together a certain way are highly suggestive and distract from a child’s imaginative play.

When putting together a toys kit for special play time I recommend that parents include toys from the following categories: expressive arts, family relationships, aggression and control, caretaking and nurturing, mastery, communication and transportation. A special playtime kit includes toys that allow children to explore relationships such as a doll house and family characters, a baby doll with blanket and bottle. A real life baby bottle with some water in it offers opportunities for regression within the context of play. A medical kit is an excellent opportunity for children to express the give and take of caretaking relationships. Toys such as army men, handcuffs, swords and aggressive animals allow children to explore any aggressive feelings and desire for control. Children can explore their feelings around food and mealtimes by using toy dishes and food. Creative expression can be found in some simple arts and crafts materials such as paper, scissors, tape, crayons, string and paper bags. Children can play ideas of connection between their different worlds or experiences through toy cars, trains, airplanes, etc. Having two phones in the toy kit encourages communication play and allows some great insight into how our children perceive the conversations they overhear us having. Mastery experiences are provided through building and connecting toys that are not suggesting any particular end product. Parents can be creative in how they put together the kit and can add items that will allow their child a specific type of communication that is unique to their experiences.  Your efforts in creating this unique toy kit will be rewarded when you hear the communication in your child’s play that allows you a glimpse into their inner world.

Happy Playing!! 

Visit www.achildssong.ca to find out more about Andrea and her services.

Our Vine to You

 

Ever wonder who exactly our "Play Expert" is? I know, she's been posting here on our blog for months with her much read Play Posts and we have been selfishly keeping her under wraps and all to ourselves. So we thought there is no better time than to finally get you to meet her and find out a little more about Andrea's life, work and passions.

We are happy to introduce you to the lovely Andrea, PBPE (Peekaboo Beans Play Expert!)...

Exactly who is our Play Expert? Hi, my name is Andrea and I’m excited to be your PeekabBoo Beans Play Expert. As a mom, child therapist and humanitarian I’m committed to providing opportunities to play for children of all ages and cultures.

What is your official title? I am a Clinical Counsellor (MA, CCC) and I love my job! Through my private practice A Child’s Song I offer Education, Consultation and Therapeutic Services for children and families. I have the opportunity every day to work with parents and children helping them to strengthen their relationships with each other. One of my most effective therapeutic tools is PLAY and I look forward to sharing with you how play can enhance relationships.

What's defines you as our Play Expert? When I’m not working I’m most often referred to as Kerlinda’s mom! My daughter is seven years old and a bundle of energy and joy. She was born in Haiti and came to Canada at twenty months through adoption. I made a choice to adopt as a single parent and it has been the most incredible journey.

As a result of my love for Kerlinda, improving the lives of orphaned Haitian children has become my passion. I’m thrilled to be part of an exciting project this spring to train orphanage nannies in Haiti how to meet the emotional and psychological needs of the children they care for. I’m sure you won’t be surprised when I tell you I intend to accomplish this by teaching the nannies how to PLAY with children.

What does PLAY mean to you? For me it is the essence of the work I do with children and families. Play is the key to my success in helping parents and children connect with each other in a more meaningful way. It is also one of the ways I am able to engage and connect with my own daughter.

What did you have to conquer in order to fulfill a dream you had? My life dream has always been to create change for children who are living in poverty. I knew from the time I was a teenage that working in a third world orphanage was in my future. I think intuitively I knew that I needed to complete my education in order to have the social power required to make the changes I envisioned. Having to stay focused and complete my Master’s was what I had to conquer in order to do what I am passionate about.

Who is one person you look up to or are inspired by and why? I am most inspired by my daughter. She has had to overcome unbelievable challenges just to be where most of her peers are. She spent her first seventeen months living in an orphanage and experienced both physical and emotional deprivation. I watch the way she has had to overcome the emotional scars of her early childhood and I am amazed by her bravery and depth of understanding.

What possession do you cherish the most? This would definitely be my photo albums. They are irreplaceable!

Is there a special tradition you share with your children? Kerlinda and I celebrate‘Family Day’ every year on May 11. This is the date that her adoption was finalized and so we celebrate it as the day we became a family. If it happens to fall on a weekday I take the day off work and Kerlinda is off school. She chooses the activity and we spend the day just being together and doing something we enjoy. We both look forward to it and the day is always planned in detail long before it arrives!

What spot in your neighbourhood if your favourite place to go? There is a little café just a few minutes away that faces the beach. It has outdoor seating that offers a beautiful view of the ocean. The family that owns Watts Cooking makes the most amazing baked goods. My cup of tea, a home baked muffin and a good book is the perfect way to relax.

What kind of house do you live in? And what do you like best about living there? We live in a small rancher home with a big backyard in a quiet neighbourhood. I love that the house is old and has a ton of character. The old wood floors and doorbell chimes give it a homey feeling. I would have to say though that the backyard is the best part. It has a big tree that is home to a squirrel my daughter has named and many beautiful little birds.

Can you share with us your favorite recipe, websites or local shops? I don’t really enjoy cooking but baking is something my daughter and I enjoy doing together regularly. I am a big fan of the http://allrecipes.com/. It is my go to for simple baking recipes. And I love to shop for vintage items. I’m forever collecting old castaway furniture pieces and promising to refinish them. Some of them are lovely additions to our home and others are still in the garage waiting for some attention!

What's one thing you always look forward to? Hugs and kisses in the morning from my daughter. With that and a good cup of tea I’m ready for whatever the day will bring.

What legacy would you like to build for you and your life or family? I want to offer my child the opportunity to see the world beyond our quiet little neighbourhood. I hope that by modelling a lifestyle of humanitarian work she will develop her own ideas of creating change in the world.

Likes: chocolate, wine, hot sunny weather and hugs

Dislikes: housecleaning, paperwork and rain!

 

Find out more about Andrea, her team, her missions to Haiti and her private services on A Child Song. 

Benefits of old-fashioned play

Benefits of Old Fashioned Play

Do you remember coming home from school, throwing aside your school bag and heading outside with neighborhood friends to play before dinner? I certainly do. We covered a lot of ground on bikes, found hiding spots in each other’s yards and imagined great themes to entertain ourselves for hours.  Our parents didn’t even realize what profound impact this play time had on our developing brains, socialization or physical health.

This type of play doesn’t seem as readily available to our children as it was to us. Particularly as the weather shifts there is a greater chance that our kids will experience more screen time and sedentary activities.  The activities our children have access to seem to be increasingly more  structured and directed. Screen time activities and independent play don’t provide the traditional lessons of play.

So, what is Old Fashioned Play and why is it so important for our children? Old Fashioned Play is often outdoors, includes physical movement as well as imagination. It involves children interacting with natural materials such as water, dirt, rocks, wood and grass. Other traditional and potentially indoor forms of play are dressing up household clothing, making forts and and using natural or household items for crafting. Within this play, children make their own decisions, imagine their own themes and negotiate their own rules.

Old Fashioned Play has specific and important benefits for children. The most significant being the development of a child’s executive functioning which is responsible for good problem solving, decision making and emotional management skills. In my experience working with children, their level of executive functioning is actually a better predictor of school success than intelligence. Old Fashioned Play also provides the necessary exercise for healthy physical development disguised as fun. The socialization that occurs during Old Fashioned Play is also important as it teaches children how to resolve problems amongst themselves, negotiate and imagine collectively.

Over the next few months, when you are planning playdates or what your child might do for the weekend, consider the benefits of Old Fashioned Play and open up opportunities in your home and neighbourhood for your child to experience this type of play.  

Visit our Play Quotes page for more inspiring play images and join Peekaboo Beans on our Play Revolution. 

A serious issue

Our Kids are Experiencing a Play Deficit, and we need to do something about it!

Our Canadian children are experiencing a PLAY DEFICIT!  The Active Healthy Kids Canada Report Card is the most comprehensive annual assessment of child and youth physical activity in Canada. The 2012 Report Card offers some shocking statistics, that forty-six percent of Canadian kids are getting three hours or less of active play per seven day week. Even more concerning, kids are spending sixty three percent of their after school time and weekends being sedentary, typically in front of a screen. The report concludes that ‘unfortunately, the structure and demands of modern Canadian life may be engineering active play out of our children’s lives.’ Contrary to what you might think, children themselves are not in favour of this! Ninety two percent of Canadian children reported in the study that they would choose playing with friends over watching television. So, if play is what children need and also what children want, what is getting in the way?

 

There are many factors contributing to the PLAY DEFICIT our children are experiencing.  Our children are playing less than any previous generation and they aren’t happy about it. Today families are leading busy lives. Children are enrolled in structured activities that take up much of their free time. Play dates are difficult to coordinate between busy schedules. Children’s safety is of paramount concern and inhibits much of the free play that kids of previous generations enjoyed. Our modern lifestyle is becoming less and less compatible with opportunities for unstructured free play and this is hurting our children. This lack of play will have a profoundly negative impact on children’s physical, intellectual, social, and emotional health development.

 

So, we at Peekaboo Beans are committed to the initiation of a PLAY REVOLUTION to inspire both parents and children to respect the important role that PLAY has in a child’s healthy development. We are challenging families to evaluate carefully those things that get in the way of children PLAYING each day. Children need access to places to play that allow them to move freely and explore their environment. Children may need less structured activities to allow for more time to just play. Families and communities can work together to provide safe places for children to engage in free and active play with peers and siblings. A PLAY REVOLUTION will give back to children the joy of play by recognizing it as an essential component of healthy development.

 

So with the initiative of our Play Revolution, we will be launching a series of Pop Up Playdates, to get kids outside, moving and experiencing free play!  Stay tuned for all the exciting details and be on the look out for the Play Patrol!! 

 

xoxo, Andrea

 

Balancing School and Play

Balancing School and Play
 

As we are heading into another school year I know many parents will be paying close attention to their child’s academic progress, keenly interested in how they are mastering the concepts of reading, writing and math. It might be easy to overlook the necessity of play and how it contributes to our child’s education. Play contributes to very important aspects of learning such as language skills, math skills and creative problem solving. In fact it is the balance between structured learning and free play that allow a child’s whole brain to be engaged daily to maximize learning potential.

 

In Kindergarten children are given daily opportunity within the classroom to engage in free play activities, intermittent with their experience of learning academic skills. But by the time they reach grade one and two the time for play is being restricted to short break times and the focus shifts to academics. My daughter commented during the second week of Grade 2 how much she missed being in Grade 1. When I asked why Grade 1 seemed so much better she said ‘because there is just no time in Grade 2 to play.’

 

Now that children are in the process of adjusting to the routines and expectations of going back to school the free play of summer is quickly becoming a distant memory. What happens then to daily play time? Recess and lunch time does offer some opportunity for movement and free play but the time is short. Physical Education class again offers the benefits of movement however the experience for children is still that of a structure activity with adult imposed expectations and rules. For play to offer its full set of benefits to children it must truly be playful!

 

As parents we need to commit to making time this year to for our children to just play outside of school hours. No schedules, no teaching, no expectations or pressures, just time to play. This is one of the most effective ways we can support our children’s education and ensure that their whole brain is engaged in the process of learning.

Going into the winter season, it may become a bit harder to get kids outside and playing freely so help them out a bit and give them some inspiration that will keep them busy and use their creativity.  Why not create a mud pie play kitchen outdoors, send them off on a bug hunt, set up after school outdoor play dates, get the kids involved in outdoor chores, enjoy your dining time al fresco, even go as far as bringing their indoor toys out and see what happens.  Break the rules, let them get dirty and have fun!  Their growing brains need it.

 

 

 

 

 

A must read from Andrea's

 

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen, PH.D.

I was introduced to this gem of a book by a colleague who raved about all the wonderful little insights she had gained reading Playful Parenting. She was impressed with the way her daughter had responded to their new playful interactions. I found it to be an enjoyable read myself, packed with practical ideas for how to establish a connection with your child, join them in their world of play and introduce playful interactions into your daily routines. I highly recommend it to parents who are looking for a fresh approach to the way they respond to some of the daily joys and struggles of parenting.

 

The first chapter is my favourite, focusing on the value of being a playful parent and how it contributes to the great payoff of parenting, those moments when you experience a meaningful connection with your child. Infants and toddlers offer parents frequent opportunities to connect both physically and emotionally.

 

When children become school age, these moments tend to be less frequently initiated by the child. Parent child conflict over rules, expectations and performance may increase at this stage of development. The beauty of Playful Parenting is that you can apply it anywhere you are and as often as you wish. It isn’t dependant to your availability to play.  The author challenges parents to look for moments when they have a choice to respond to their child in a playful manner and watch the profound impact it makes on the relationship.

 

Take time for this amazing read, be playful and enjoy the pay off of those special moments with your child.

 

 

Our Play Expert

Exploring the Wonder and Value of Playing with Your Child

When you are dealing with a child, keep all your wits about you, and sit on the floor. ~Austin O’Malley, 1915

Play is a child’s way of learning about self and others and then communicating these life experiences. For children, play is the primary form of communicating before the age of ten. Play is how children show adults what they think and how they feel. When parents engage in play it allows them to enter into their child’s world on the child’s terms. It offers them a window into their child’s life, how he or she makes sense of new experiences and recovers from life’s upsets. The benefits of playing with children are both reassuring and exciting. Play fosters closeness, confidence and connection between parents and children. Play helps children think for themselves and then gives them the confidence that you believe in them too. Play is a way to be close to your child and to reconnect after closeness has been lost. 

Parents have varying perspectives on what play is, how important it is to development and what a parent’s role is in playing their child. There seems to be a general misconception amongst adults that play is an activity meant only for children. Maybe this idea comes from our own childhood experiences, rarely experiencing play with our own parents or other meaningful adults. Or maybe it is the result of play not being given significant value in a society where learning and productivity take center stage. With so little experience to draw from, many parents find the experience of floor play particularly, to be awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning. It can be difficult to slow down, refocus and enter into your child’s world of play. However, once you get the hang of it you will wonder why it took you so long to discover the wonder of play with your child. Understanding the benefits of play and finding the time and energy to enter a child’s world in this way creates meaningful parent-child relationships.

Here are a few suggestions to help you get started. Get down on the floor with your child so you are at eye level, facing them. Try to loosen up and relax. Remember you are getting ready to have a good time and your child is watching how you respond to playing with them. Join in your child’s play but let them lead the way (even if its play you would rather ignore). Listen carefully to your child’s words, watch their facial expressions and wonder about what they might be thinking or feeling. Enjoy yourself and this wonderful new way of connecting with your child.

Andrea Chatwin, MA, CCC

A Child’s Song Consultant, Educator and Therapist

www.achildssong.ca