Who Are You, Really?
I was watching Oprah conduct an interview the other day, and she asked her guest the question, "Who are you, really?" That's a strange question, I thought. How does anyone answer a question like that? I have no idea who I am "really". Like everyone else, there is a lot of "Me's" in there. There is the mother me, the wife me, the sister and daughter me. I am a mother first, and foremost, but the biggest me aside from that is the Nurse me. After 45 years of being an ER/ICU nurse, that me is pretty well developed. That is the me that runs towards chaos, instead of away from it. The one that puts aside her emotions to deal with whatever has to be dealt with and falls apart later. This is the me that bleeds into all the others and appropriately enough, looks after everyone. (Can you say "Sybil'?) I have been doing a lot of thinking about that lately and decided that it's time for the nurse me to retire. I will just be really me, as soon as I can figure out who that is, and damn the consequences. This I fear is not going to be easy. Having kept a tight rein on the crazy for all these years, it is all apt to just fall out and land in a big pile at my feet, and that would just be uncomfortable for everyone. I will do it slowly.
So, the other day when I was doing my Work day at Peekaboo Beans, an opportunity opened. Derrick told me I could listen to any radio station I wanted. Okay, I thought, here is a chance to display the real me. Dare I admit that I want to listen to country music? I blurted out "How about some Country music" and then I began to have doubts, but Derrick didn't bat an eyelash, he just dialed in JRFM. (Thank you Derrick) I had a moment of concern....Oh my Lord, please do not let "My Truck Got Stuck" be playing. Or worse, "I Want to Check You for Tics'" I would never live down the humiliation! But no, it was "Red Neck Woman"....a little embarrassing, but not too too bad. A million times better than "I'm Just a Bug on the Windshield of My Life". In any case, I ended up line dancing up and down the aisles, happy as a clam, filling my orders and rocking (well square dancing anyway) to my tunes. Later, Julie and Lisa both admitted to being Country Girls! My dirty little secret was out and I wasn't alone.
So take a little time to think about this question...who are you really? Just be who you are! Fly your freak flag and let 'er rip. I would write more, but I have to go because my favorite song is on the radio. "I Want You to Love Me Like My Dog Does Baby" is playing and I couldn't be happier.
Bean there done that, its all good.