Bean there done that!

How to Tell You're a Grandma!

When I am dropping off, or picking up one of my Beans from their activities, it's often difficult to tell if the adults accompanying the other children are older mothers, or younger grandma's.  Sometimes the differences are subtle but I believe I have learned to tell the difference.  The Mom's often have a kind of deer in the headlights look, their minds racing ahead to what they still have to do.  The Grandma's have more of a peaceful look that says, "I get to drop off this little Munchkin later and then go out for a nice dinner with my friends."
I have made up a wee list of what I perceive are clues to tell the difference.

You know you're a grandma when:

  • Every night before you go to bed, you have to wash glitter out of your pores.  
  • You have a drawer in your house that holds nothing but glitter, glue, lace, buttons, pipe cleaners, scraps of pretty paper doilies and ribbon.  
  • You have to call a 10 year old to help you reset your iPad and teach you how to text.  
  • You often have breakfast for dinner.  
  • You can actually eat a cookie that a 4-year old made with grubby little fingers.  
  • You make "Fabulous Hot Buns."  (Thank you Miss Colbie Makena Costa.)  
  • You have stars and glue stuck on your T-shirt but you don't bother changing it to go to the store.  
  • When your grandchild does something you would never have let your child do, you just smile to yourself and say "Never Mind."  
  • You look into the mirror and Oh Lordy, a grandma is staring back at you.  
  • You find yourself saying things like Oh Lordy.  
  • You secretly smile when your child tells you their kids are driving him/her crazy.  
  • You get up out of a sick-bed because you promised a wee Bean a Nana/Granddaughter day.  
  • You are amazed at the stuff you used to think was so important.  
  • You get a tug at your heart when a 6-year old sings or dances badly in a play and you applaud like you have just attended a performance at the Met.  
  • Your Motto is "Never pass up an opportunity to just shut up."  
  • You climb into bed with a Grandpa every night, and you don't mind.  And your nightgown now contains more fabric than a backyard tent.  
  • When you are babysitting you have to call the kids to find out how to work the baby monitor.  
  • You plan every outing around where you can get a seniors discount.  
  • Your 3-year old granddaughter has to show you how to buckle up her car seat.  
  • You tell your toddler grandson French Fries are carrot sticks so it won't sound bad when he tells his Mom what Nana fed him while she was looking after him.   But what happens at Nana's stays at Nana's. (You just have to hope that they don't find a wayward fry in the child's clothing! Sorry Jan!)  
  • After you tell your 9-year old granddaughter that you are going to be out of town for Mother's Day, she says, "Please do NOT tell me that my Mom is not going to have a mother around on Mother's Day!!"
  • When your child arrives to pick up her Beans and the wee one's start behaving like Bohemians, you say "Funny, they were perfect angels all day."  Because they WERE!  
  • Sadly, you leak as much as the Grand-babies do!

There it is in a nutshell.  No more problems.  You're welcome.

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